Rant # 1

$250 Dollar Jeans


I met a guy the other day who was wearing a pair of $250 dollar jeans.  (For more emphases please reread the previous line then stab yourself in the eye with a spoon to dull the pain.)  So for the next three minutes I starred at him in awe.  What nuclear spilling radiation planet did he live near as a child that caused his frontal lobes not to fully develop?  I then assumed (correctly) that he lived the first 8 years of his life underneath Chernobyl.  What's worse was that our jeans were almost identical, yet his pants cost 1250% as much as mine.  As I began to regain my ability to speak I asked in a polite tone.  "What the **** went through your mind you *******!"  (The words are taken out for the children who live on the internet because their parents are on to much medication so they forget about their meaningless lives to realize that their kids need them) (the previous statement was put in parenthesis due to its horrible grammar)

To this he simply replied "I liked the way they felt and they are this brand."  Ah of course comfort.  Naturally you want your pants to be as comfortable as possible, and remember if they steal your wallet the jokes on them.  They should have taken your whole pants.  And naturally the brand.  Because when I walk around looking at a persons jeans if it doesn't have the right logo I punch them in the face with a can of manozane.  Now to help you better understand the comfort level I have made the following graphs.

graph 1

As you can see in this graph it's clear the difference in comfort levels.  Wait no it's not clear enough but if I screw around with the graph then ah ha here we go. 

graph 2

See doesn't that make it look like a big difference?  Well it's a $250 dollar difference.  While I could dole out my life savings and get a loan to buy a pair of these fantastic jeans, I'm fine with the same jeans I have been wearing nonstop for the past seven years.  While the brand isn't the face of some wolf.  I can get the dual benefits of staying warm and still having enough money to eat.  But maybe somewhere far in the future when I am rich enough I'll buy a can of gasoline and burn down the expensive pants heaven of hell, or just steal one pair sell it and feed the country of Botswana for three years.


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